A Tale of Two 'Sit-Ins' - 2nd Half

And here’s the second half. We’re still at school, and around about two weeks after where we left off.

As the next sit-in was to be hosted by one of my closest friends, it was decided—not by me—that this should be the first occasion that I drink. I’d never really had alcohol before, apart from at Christmas mixed with orange juice, but I thought that maybe this would give me the confidence to go after Helen.

Within a few minutes of my first drink(s), I had removed most of my clothing and was dancing erotically to ABC’s ‘Poison Arrow’, with Elliot. This was the guy who got naked in the first half and was the inspiration of my 'tripling' question in Fresh Meat. 

This performance was for Rene and Helen, so it’s safe to say that despite my hopes, alcohol didn’t turn me into a modern day Casanova. Before I realised I was making a fool of myself, there was a bang upstairs as a girl (much drunker than me) was being led out of the house, smashing my friend’s plant pots as she left. Later, we got a call from this girl’s mum, accusing us of taking drugs, and it took a lot of convincing for her not to come over and do a raid! My idea of arranging flour in lines on the table wasn’t perceived as amusing.

At this point, despite my best efforts to convince her otherwise, Helen left to go home. Now I’d been drinking for nothing, so I did the only logical thing; I drank more! Soon the remaining guests were sitting in a circle and, while I believe it was an ironic suggestion, we were soon playing ‘truth or dare’. The host knew that I had never kissed a girl and so decided to dare both Rene and another girl called Jane to kiss me.

My self-confidence wasn’t at all high because they had to be dared to do this, but what made it worse was that I’d just seen these girls throw up in order to allow themselves to drink more, and they hadn’t cleaned their teeth since. Not wanting to lose any more masculinity, I sat there and closed my eyes as their recently sick-filled mouths came closer to mine.

Now, I remember that Jane had cold sores, not at this moment, but she’d get them from time to time. This suited me perfectly, I thought, the first time I kissed a girl and I’m going to get cold sores, which will mean I’ll never be able to do it again, which will end in me dying sad and alone. I was a very pessimistic person at the time. I went to the bathroom, washed my mouth, and then I have a vague memory of my dancing partner watching me as I peed. The night concluded with more antics, which I was excluded from, and so I got a taxi home.

I woke up the next day feeling like my insides wanted to crawl out of my eyes, and this hangover lasted for more than a couple of days. Thinking back to the night before, my misunderstanding of SATs level Sex Education convinced me that I felt ill because I had kissed a girl with cold sores. I then remembered that I’d been to the loo after washing my mouth, maybe I’d passed it on. I hadn’t. I hadn’t even caught cold sores. As I said, Jane didn’t even have them at the time, so my chances really were slim.

Convinced that the worst always happens, I went to my doctor and, after looking at my mouth and touching my penis, he told me that nothing was wrong. Looks like I’d managed to skip second base after all.

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